Good Morning, Dave: 9/9/80, Christmas in September

For Dave's followers, those minding the kids at home or back to school, they might have missed the announcement at the end of the Monday episode.  The promo later in the day left no doubt: it will be Christmas tomorrow, just to get the "special" episode over-with.

The opening remained the same, but true to all those whimsical holiday cards of yore, Dave enters framed in a wreath.

The audience, of course, is already in the holiday spirit.

The reasons explained were simple: you're tired of Christmas by December what with all the specials, shopping, so on.  Get it out of the way, and you don't have to go shopping afterward.  This would also be rerun on December 24th or 25th (sadly, this wouldn't be an issue).

First, comes a look at predictions of the hot gifts for Christmas '80, including a shirt stained with fancy foods (to give the impression of high dining), a couch-sized whoopee cushion, and Mr. Mashed Potato Head.

The end result gets a mixture of laughs and uncomfortable groans, which leaves Dave to remind the audience that these are just a few and not all of the hot gifts for this Christmas.

First guest, Susan Powell (Miss America 1981), gives Dave insight on the pageant.  When she says that regardless of how large of a group are competing for a crown or not, you really compete with yourself, Dave asks "You don't mean to say you were the only entry in the pageant."  Though the audience laughs, Dave reminds her it's a joke, which leads to fake laughter by the guest and a host caught a bit off guard.

If anything, it shows Powell is more than game to play on Dave's level.

Dave: Thank you for having the courage for being on the show.
Susan: You know, I was just thinking that...

In the next segment, Powell sings "White Christmas" while Dave reminds viewers "is there anything more American than Miss America singing White Christmas, even in September..."

After a view of folks doing their last minute shopping for the holidays (on a day considered "unseasonably warm")...Dave brings up a recent article in Small Town News.  This usually showed headlines and brief snippets of local color (it's where Jay Leno "thought of" Headlines on his shows).  This segment is the "Men & Their Vegetables Hall of Fame"

He then calls the farmer of a squash that weighs 337 lbs., John Ritz of Canton, OH.  John answers the phone "Morning, Dave!"  How did it happen?  Good seed, good soil, and a lot of tea.  He spreads out this tea each August on the fields.  "Now this sounds kind of crazy, but it's not the kind of tea you're gonna drink.  It's a tea made of sheep manure and cow manure."  Dave's response "And you say people don't drink that, huh?"  The squash will keep for another month, and will likely feed most of it to his sheep.

Next is guest Tom Feltenstein, a fast food psychologist, specifically on what makes these restaurants work and how they create turnover.  He states it as "Fast Service," a phrase commonly used today.  He mentions that kids decide so much of the visits, that if they know there is a playground or games there, that leads to where a family ends up visiting a high majority of occasions.  Tom also talks about the key of drive-thru, specifically for those customers who don't want the "hassle" of going inside.  Dave seems interested in this topic and you hear him on the mic say as they go to break "I'd like you to come back."

But what Christmas special would be complete without a visit from Santa!  (Sadly, Santa has some trouble getting out of the sled)

Dave later admits that this is not the real Santa Claus ("The real Santa is vacationing in Las Vegas") but Today show weatherman Willard Scott.  The program closes with all of the kids in the audience joining Dave, Susan and Tom, and everyone gets a Christmas gift.

Was it a can of Winky's Cow Paste?  Part of the giant squash?  We may never know.