Tuesday, March 31, 2020

What's on the shelf


I have been writing on here for coming up 15 years and while the purpose of this site was never any kind of historical document, something this old becomes such a thing…so while this isn’t necessarily funny or a unique topic, this exists to look back on 6 months from now, if not longer (I hope).

It’s hard not to be selfish when you’re inconvenienced.  As in: “why is this tougher for me to have what I want?”  (Especially when you think about how, 1 month ago, you were in a crowded restaurant with friends) Looking back, that is simply an anecdote, something that doesn’t mean shit anymore. 

The first weekend wasn't so abnormal as much as it was the slow realization of those not understanding in your neighborhood that this was no hoax and you'd better get ready to hunker down, and sadly this time we're not talking about the beloved Dawgs.  (Social distancing: the national championship and Georgia football!  Oof)

I was at home with the pup anyway so I didn't look out much...it just worked out that way.  When I braved the neighborhood market (which could be described as the lyrics to Ted Nugent's "Free For All") I saw a person leave the store holding nothing more than 5 9-packs of toilet paper saying to no one in particular "THEY GOT IT!  THEY GOT IT!"  My feeling was more than the shopping experience; it was that these people who barely fit in with society, the adults who have to be told 4 times to write their name on the form and have a seat, these people now have to follow rules to stay in place and try not to get everyone else sick?  "Oh shit."  I believe I didn't think that, I likely said it aloud in a store.  No one corrected me.

Smiley, who can’t stop reading about this (and works in a hospital, no less) asked me “Do you think this will be a short-time thing or will it last forever?”  I told her it was both: until the curve goes down, it’ll be like this.  Everything.  And afterward, whenever that is, it will be real tough to “forget” about this and politely ignore the overfed honk next to you who mouth-breaths for his/her existence.  As I’ve already seen walking the dog and in stores, remember: there will ALWAYS be idiots.  The pandemic will not eliminate them…in fact, afterwards it might feel like there are more, because somehow these lunkheads survived.  That’s just a reminder from me to you.

Side note: In my professional life, which as documented has been 20 years, I would have never believed you that a sitting president would have given a flying shit about TV ratings, let alone when the public might be looking to the federal government for assistance.  It's my first pandemic, so I'm still sorting things out. 

It will end, and when it does, when it's looked back on or the Big Scoop herself has to write a paper on it in high school, what will first come to mind won't be an illness, it will be everything else:  All the noise, all the distractions, all the lunkheads in the way.  They carry on conversations in public and online to no one in particular, and now they're roaming free.  In charge of themselves, already a hefty task, and in your space.  Yet another reason to stay home.