Friday, June 20, 2014

Hail to the...uh...

With the removal of the Washington Redskins trademark this week, sports fans are hearing and reading a lot of hot sports takes on the issue.  Players say it should be changed, players and oafish members of the media say it shouldn't, former players mock the whole idea.  But what I haven't heard that much about in the din of opinions is that of the fans of the team.  Fans buy the merchandise, follow the team, likely say the name more than anyone else in public.  Are any giving up their fandom?  Sticking with the team?

Well...I'm a fan of the team.  They won Super Bowl XVII (lord, I'm old) and I said they're my new favorite team.  Had Miami won, well, Go Dolphins.  But I was a kid and that's what I said.  Unknowingly, I had integrity: I WAS a Redskins fan, and have been ever since.  Simple as that.  It helped that my parents followed different teams, and I could never get interested in the bumbling franchise in the dome.

So, when you're a kid, you get a lot of merchandise as a gift.  A Redskin maroon satin jacket.  (Hello 80's!)  Redskin caps, jerseys, knock-off T shirts (which we'll see again, it seems), trash cans.  If they had it, I was for it.  Then one year I got this as a gift:


This was the NFL's idea to market to kids...maybe even those not interested in football.  Each team's doll is literal: the New York Jets is a cartoon plane wearing a helmet.  So, they went all-in and in my childlike mind, I liked it as I did the rest.  He's smiling because yay, football!  He's not "stoic" like the guy on the helmet, which I took to be the guy in the anti-pollution ad (who, I found out later, was actually Italian...but that's showbiz).

Move forward a year or two, and in Social Studies class a flighty substitute teacher talked to us about how cultural norms change through time.  "Stanford used to be called the Indians!  All these things say Indians at the school.  What happens to that stuff?"  Being a sports nut, I offer that it becomes a new word I'd learned but can't spell, "memorabilia."  "YES!  It's all the past."  It makes me wonder if the Redskins would be changed...but considering I only read the Sports and Cartoons sections of the newspaper, I had no idea if this was actually being discussed.

A successful decade for the team culminated in Super Bowl XXVI at the old Dump Dome.  Through wheeling and dealing, I'd be attending the game.  My clothing of choice was a simple Redskins sweatshirt with a supposed old team photo.  The logo on the shirt was the size of a quarter, and I feared I should make a bigger deal...even if I was in the end zone, upper deck.  For every band-wagon fan there, you'd see an old guy in the full-on Native American gear.  What also tempered my outfits were the known facts of a planned protest by Native Americans in front of the stadium.  And believe me, you couldn't miss it entering the dome.

Game day, my father and I deftly tried to pass the group and walk up the concourse.  Soon, I was accosted by a young protester, Native American, and larger  than me.  All that was showing was my cap, but that was enough.  "Hey!"  I'm grabbed by the jacket.  "Redskins are gonna lose."  Before I can respond, my father (not a sensitive man in nearly any way) grabs me and yells "Go play some bingo."  A fight is avoided due to the sheer amount of people getting into the stadium but the whole event (the accosting and my dad's response) stayed with me for weeks.  I'm just a fan...am I doing something wrong?  What should I do differently?  My next hat purchase was a 60's styled R with two arrows at the bottom.  I still wear it and like the look, but no one knows what team it is.  And yes, I guess it means my dad is a jackass in nearly any situation.

The following season, Washington played at Kansas City, and the anticipated protest arrived in full force.  After that season, however, you didn't hear about this issue or see as many protests.  This was aided by the fact, I think, that the team turned to absolute dogshit when Joe Gibbs retired.  They aren't good, they aren't on TV, and it's put to the back burner of cultural issues.

20 years later, it ramped up again, louder than ever.  Why the quiet and then the ramp-up?  I'll never know.  The trademark removal this week isn't the tipping point, because if you're expecting either Redskins owner Dan Snyder or NFL Kommissar Roger Goddell to "make the right decision" about anything you're out of your mind.

So do I think the name should be changed?

Sure.  Change it back then, change it now, change it five years from now.  My question back is: We're not going to have a STUPID name going forward, are we?

The Washington Federals.  What the fuck?  No!  We tried that once already...


The Washington Americans.  Well...all NFL teams are American.

Do you see what I'm getting at here?  There would be a new problem, on a much smaller scale, of course...but a problem.  If the new name was awful, people would STILL WEAR REDSKINS STUFF...maybe even call them that forever.  Can't you see some middle-aged guy?  "Well, I grew up in Wheaton and I've always called them the Redskins.  I'm not changing."

My suggestion: the Washington Razorbacks.


  • Same team initials.  
  • You can even keep the "R" helmets from the 70s (though the feathers would be debated).


  • The offensive line is still referred to as the Hogs, another tie-in.
  • The name is nearly as long as the current name.
The Washington Razorbacks.  Love them Hogs.  Go Hogs!  

There...everyone happy?  What - Arkansas fans are pissed off?  Eh...




Tuesday, June 10, 2014

"I think we're on the right spot"

(Editor's Note: while looking through a box of paperback books at a yard sale in Los Angeles, Trip Darvez found what appeared to be the diary of a teenage girl.  "How much are the books?" he asked, before finding out for just a quarter, he could share this diary with the Pacific Gold audience.  As a matter of disclosure, he also bought a copy of The Deep by Peter Benchley.  

"This isn't an attempt to invade anyone's privacy; I couldn't find anyone's full name.  It's also written on what appears to be the family moving to California.  The first part I can make out is from Iowa.  All grammar has been reprinted intact.")

6/13/77  

I think we're in the middle of the USA right now.  This part of the drive has been boring.  I hope the whole ride isn't like this.  I wonder if we have to stop somewhere but we can't because there's nowhere to go.  Dad is at least letting us move around the radio a bit.  I missed the end of Shawn Cassidy's song which he knows I LOVE!  Mike said he had to hear the scores of something but it wasn't even the right game or whatever.

I wonder what you do around here in Demoin.  (Des Moines -ed.)  I don't know if we're in it.  Dad let me sing along to You Make Me Believe in Magic.  At least I have the back seat to myself.  That's what Mom keeps saying.  I thought we were on Highway 80 but it's really 35.  I don't know how you figure this out.  Oh well, we have a ways to go before Kansas City.  I don't want to drive after dinner but it's staying light out for a long time.

6/14/77

We're in Kansas City and relaxing a bit today.  It's really nice outside.  Last night I think we were all kind of tired.  I was but I couldn't fall asleep.  I had my little earphone in and Mom didn't notice.  We ended up driving around a bit just looking for a restaurant that looked good and now it's kind of hard to tell if we're going the right way.

Okay now I'm writing later but we are lost.  I don't want to say anything but mom and dad keep fighting back and forth.  The only other map isn't of where we are I guess.  We went over to ask someone at a gas station and he was so stupid.  "Where you off to?"  Dad kept saying California and the number of the road but then Mom said "Henry, don't tell a stranger that stuff" I want to just hide and die.

It's now later and I think we're on the right spot.  We had dinner in Topeka, they were nice, and I thought we'd stay there at a Howard Johnsons but dad wanted to drive more.  He is unexplainable!

We're in Junction City.  I think we all want to just sleep.  I'm tired and if it's like this the rest of the move I'll be tired then, too.

6/15/77

Just went to Silina (Salina, -ed.)  This radio station we have on is good.  Even Mike and I are singing the same song.  We can tell Dad doesn't like it!  Har har har.

It's now in the afternoon and we'll get into Colorado.  I hope we see the Rocky Mountains.  The drive so far has been so boring.  I thought we'd stop but we haven't since some random town from the highway and all there was is a gas station.  Dad got me a Reese's Peanut butter cup.  I think he's in a better mood now because we're just driving a lot.

OK we're way later than we thought.  I think he thought we'd make it earlier.  We wanted to see Pueblo but it's taking longer because of the farm roads.  I woner who lives in these places.  It's getting dark but it said Pueblo is close.  I bet we'll eat and then sleep.  I hope we get to see the mountains tomorrow.  Good night!

6/16/77

It's supposed to rain and be muggy!  So instead of going west we're going up to Denver!  Then we'll go through I guess.  Puebo and Colorado Springs were fine.

We're in Denver and I think we're going to be here for the rest of the day!  Mom kept saying that Dad needs a break and we all do I think.  We're looking for a hotel that's not too expensive but then we can go around and stuff.  It's pretty here!

Well it's warm but it's raining and it's hard to get around here.  I think we will go see a movie or something.  Maybe we can see Star Wars again.  I have to leave this in our room.

Okay now it's nighttime and we did see Star Wars again.  I like it.  The radio is playing that song from Fleetwood Mac and I'm starting to have that as my new favorite song.  So the TV says the storm is bad through where we were gonna go so we're going to go north a bit.  I swear Dad better make sure he knows where he's going.

There is a midnight movie The Rolling Stones and Mike tried to go see it.  Good luck, dork.

6/17/77

OK we're going north and we're in Fort Collens but at least it's pretty here.  If there's nothing to do but not drive in rain at least it's pretty.  Mike isn't talking to Mom or Dad.  Did you really think they'd let you out?  They won't let me out!

So now we're in Wyoming?  I didn't know we'd be here and I guess now we're heading west.  Mom said "Why are we in Wyoming!  Turn around!" but then Dad found the road.  I had a hamburger and a milkshake.  I should have not eaten the fries.  I'm just sitting in the car all day and getting fat.

Some guy on the radio is giving away a Shawn Cassidy poster!  I can't even call and even if I did, where would they send it?

We're still CONFUSED.  We passed through Shyann (Cheyenne - ed.) and somewhere else I don't remember and they guy on the radio keeps saying Casper but the map says we're not in Casper.  The only thing I know is that the drive is totally boring now.  I guess we could have gone to Yellowstone but we're already screwed up on our road right now.

We're having dinner in Evanston Wyoming!  I asked people if they know Evanston Illinois and none of them did.  Don't you think I should get some free money for that?  I

6/18/77

Oops I had to stop writing yesterday because the food was there.

Guess tomorrow is Father's Day and we'll be in Utah to start the day.  The route back doesn't have to go to Salt Lake City, so we wen't around and are in Jordan for the night.  You can see some mountains here but it's still Dullsville.

We're driving past the Salt Lake, at least it's nice out here.  We asked Dad what he wanted for Father's Day and he said "Get the hell out of Utah!"  Hahaha!  Mom was mad.  So much for Father's Day in Lake Tahoe.

OK we were going to stop in Elko for the night but now I don't think so.  We're in Nevada now and I'm SICK of the car!  Dad keeps trying to ask other people about the storm but they all look at him like he's crazy.  Like everyone else on this trip!  PLEase GOD, can we get to California?  Even if we're theyre forever to get there, get me out of the car!

(The following page was ripped, and we could not discern where this trip was on the page.  The back of the page wrote about Sacramento and then San Francisco, so it is possible to theorize that they went west on 80 through Reno into California. -ed.)