Stanley Williams And The Flying Idiot Parade

Every time something politically, socially, or morally strenuous is being debated, people flock. People for and against, stand up in support or defiance. The mild mannered speak their hearts, the aggressors are enraged, and the politicians skate around. “Victory Jazz , okay!”

The people with money or power get up on their soap box and make a stink, and the media is right there recording every juicy minute of it. The people who don’t have the money or the power, group together and come out in force to get their attention, and their point across. The media, once again, is there letting the rest of us sitting at our desks or on our couches know that there is civil uproar. The message? “Goddamn it! We Americans care!”

That’s all fine and dandy, but what really tweaks my hide are the celebrities. They get up to their podium and begin preaching what they believe in their fantasy world of the rich and crazy. They talk with confidence and conviction. They talk like they’re authorities on the subject at hand. They talk like they’re trying to paint a picture of themselves. They talk like everyone cares what they think

Here’s the thing. NO ONE DOES!

Well, I’m sure there’s somebody who really cares what Triple X thinks about the war in Iraq, but for the most part people like to form their own opinions. Or rather, I’d like to think so.

“Hey Hunnicut! Pass the syringe!”

In thinking about my feeling about celebrities getting up and preaching about certain political issues, the first thing that popped into my head – well, after the voices from the void – was “hey, they’re people, US citizens, most of them. They have just as much right to yell about something they feel strongly about as I do.”

As this thought line progressed I came to the conclusion that it’s not really their fault they’re plastered all over the television, internet, and newspapers. When anyone shares an opinion, they need an audience. You and I, our audiences are usually the scumbags we associate with, our co-workers, our readers, and our lawyers. Sure, you may know who I am, but your next door neighbor probably doesn’t, and certainly not Mike Wallace. “Dave who? You don’t mean Kliznuzki, the coach of the Doop Blue Boovers?”

No, and fuck you.

The people with money and power usually have more drive for the spotlight, true, but they’re not usually the ones holding the cameras, pens and pads of paper. They may announce the press conference, but they don’t give the orders to the TV camera crew to “get the hell out there, this is gonna be fuckin’ great news!”

Sure, they may invite the attention, but they certainly aren’t in charge of it. Sometimes they use the attention to endear themselves to their fans or to raise awareness for their side of an issue. But who gives them this attention? Who allows them to think they can get up and speak and because they are who they are, it means something? The fans certainly have some responsibility because, as money paying entertainment hogs, we dictate how much they’re worth. To an extent.

The media is the ones that have their Soul Suckers pointed at these icons of pop culture. The cannons of visualization are what transpose these famous faces and voices into our homes. Who wants to be at the spot when John Wayne calls Bush a fucking pussy? They do! The media giants. Well, to be fair, everyone would want to see John Wayne call G Dubbs a pussy, but...

There’s this vicious circle of stupidity that surrounds any touchy issue. People get up in arms because someone else, somewhere else, disagrees with what they think. The fans feed the celebrities and make them famous, then the media helps spoon feed their egos by showing up to give them back to us at home. Then we feed the media moguls their ratings by watching and salivating over what Jessica Simpson might think about racism in the South. It’s goddamned ridiculous.

Now, I was going to finish this tirade with my opinion on the Tookie Williams case, but Christ am I tired of reading about it and presumably so are you.

Peace be with you, I need a drink.