Back On The Bus

Once again, the 7pm bus home becomes the loony wagon to wonderville. As I sit on the bus, quietly reading, a loud conversation breaks out behind me.

“Hey, what do you do for a living?”

“I’m in construction.”

“Shit yeah? Me too man.”

This conversation goes on until another gentleman gets on the bus, whom one of them apparently knows.

“Hey man, where you comin’ from?”

“I just came from the strip club”

At this point the guy sitting behind me chimes in and all hell breaks loose.

“Oh shit man, you just got back from a strip club? Man, I just got back from Vegas on fuckin’ Sunday!”

“No shit man? Vegas, huh? What’d you do out there?”

“Man, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

Yeah, no shit man. No shit.

“Yeah, but what kinda shit did you get into out there?”

“Man, like I said, what happens in Vegas stays there man.”

Jesus, must've either been something really wicked, or you're lying. I bet you're lying, swine!

They go back and forth like this for a few minutes, the construction guy changes gears a little.

“Yeah, but what would your wife say about that?”

Oops, wrong question.

“Man, what the fuck!? I ain’t got no wife, and what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Man, shit!”

Wait, where does it stay? It hasn't been clear.

“Shit, I mean your wife might take that, but I’m just some stranger on the bus, you can talk all kinds of shit and I wouldn’t care.”

“Man, who the fuck are you to talk about what my wife would say!? I mean, who the fuck are you tellin’ me what’s what?”

The strip club guy is laughing at this point. It scales up a bit, to the point where they were talking so loud I couldn’t read. I put my book away and tune in.

Then the lady gets involved.

Oh, this is gonna get gooood!

“Man, so what would you do up in Vegas?”

“I’d do all types of shit.”

“Like what?”

Yeah yeah! egg him on!

“Man I’d be going into all those strip joints and lookin’ at titties and shit. Then I’d go into those legal places where you can get ladies and I’d nail all the hottest ones.”

“I WISH I coulda done that. I WISH I coulda done that.”

“Shit, I’d be payin for that pussy. I got $50 on it if you know what I mean!”

“I’d be getting them $5 whores. $5 whores. Yeah, that’s what I’d be into”

Oh. My. God! Gold, solid gold. I love the man's honesty! Oh, and that last one was the guy who'd just come from the strip club!

At this point Stripper Joe gets off the bus and the conversation dies down. Captain Construction is now wondering how to get where he’s going – after he’s on the bus. He just keeps asking “does this go to the uptown station?” Of course he’s not directing his question towards anyone in particular so he has to ask about ten times before someone turns around and simply says “no.” The guy behind me and his lady get off at the next stop and all is good on the neighborhood bus.

Most of the time my bus rides home are quiet and relaxing, but when I take that 7pm bus home, there’s always shit happening. It’s great!

Thank you public transportation!