Thursday, March 10, 2022

"The Kind of Polls I'd Like to See Today"

I've written in the past about how I don't miss making March Madness picks, but in that screed I didn't mention the one thing I do miss.  Just thinking about it now makes me melancholy.  It was the one thing that appeared before the tournament started, and it wasn't looked at the second the tournament ended...until March 1st, the following year:  The message board.  

The board itself took on a personality all its own.  I would write polls in the classic Letterman Late Night style: 2 "serious" answers and 1 go-for-laughs answer.  Jake would try to include something mildly serious on who was paying, how the scoring would go, but even he would have to drop a "DURRRR" in there by the end.  Drew's would ensure his "question" would be followed by a long list chockablock with quotes from something - Caddyshack, Seinfeld, it didn't matter.  When referencing a pick of Potsy's, there would naturally be food references a-plenty, some so specific and local it likely left me confounded.  I knew the purpose and could read into it, of course.  

And Potsy understood this too, but when your focus is on betting games and brandy slush, you don't have time to write polls yourself.  So he'd write a message like the title of this blog and, rightfully, get shamed for it.  You want gold, pal?  You gotta pay the price.  All the same, I write this in his memory.

This nostalgia rush made me wonder: are these things still out there?  Does a server somewhere in the bowels of CBS HQ save these things?  I had to find out for myself.  Upon visiting a page I hadn't in a while I was requested to "unlock the full power of cbssports.com."  Not knowing what they mean by this insistent request, I naturally clicked "I'll fix it next time."  Some searching found "bracket games" and something called "Hickory Hal's Hog Locker."  

Empty.  I was more disappointed than anything, but I knew my work wasn't finished.  Some looking around found an account settings page that included "show archived teams."  Nope.  Nothing.  It, like making selections, is all a memory.

But what memories!

How would you best describe the players for Northern Iowa?

A) Overachievers

B) Gritty band of victors

C) Ugly as sin

It's finally March, which means we get to see some old friends again.  Which do you miss the most the rest of the year?

A) Belmont

B) Old Dominion

C) Jack in the Box's taco sale

There were polls that went over the line, but you don't know you've done so until you've fallen, right?  (It was either me comparing Potsy to Elvis or something about a rope belt...I don't know, but when you're on a roll you let it fly)  There was the "Beef Stew Award" given to the person whose championship pick didn't even win a game.  There were even some to set the mood because, what else is there to say?  From 2009 I remember:

Hey Stan and Trip!  Feeling good about picking Pittsburgh to win it all?

A) No.

B) No.

It took me no longer doing picks at all (and, to be honest, no one else writing on the message board) to realize what I missed most: it was our collective excitement of the tournament.  It was our never-ending search for upsets.  It was Potsy automatically putting UCSB in the sweet 16.  It was clowning on someone getting something way wrong (someone I don't know once picked Texas A&M to win it all...and this was in men's basketball...and not in a video game) or propping up those who got it right (Potsy recovering from early round defeats to win it all one year and use his winnings on gallons of Butter Brickle ice cream).

As with so many things, time marches on.  People fade away, contacts are lost.  My version of this is now the Big Scoop and I cheering on our adopted team Loyola-Chicago through another run.  It's not whether it's better, just different.  But as this time of year moves on, I'll send a text here and there, and somewhere, in the moment, there's a glimmer of what once was...and like so many sure-fire picks, crossed out and crumpled up.

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