Loose Change by the Bay

How is life these days in the Bay Area of the Golden State? Well, there are two sides, right? SF and Oakland. And there are two sides of how life goes. But be careful, because the degree to which these are separate is as steep as Filbert St.

A post-Christmas hangover sat over the city as relatively dry skies welcomed me…and all of the stores were on a full court press. They have to sell to stay in business in today’s America, but there’s still the exclusive class in San Francisco. High-end stores entice you…and as you see shoppers and tourists, you dodge an army of homeless and con-men. One con man attempted a card trick, but was so drunk he dropped the deck and fell to the sidewalk. LA may have a homeless population, but compare it to SF, and it’s non-existent. Look at all of the young couples with dogs – it’s as if nearly everyone has a pup…and the pup, on the walk, will encounter the smells of those asleep in the daytime on the curb on multiple occasions.

With a group so high, you have to be creative in your carnival barking for change. Shaking a cup full of coins does you no good. I encountered one man saying “Can I borrow a nickel tonight?” when I entered the subway, and returned. In a bar, a wino who had teeth so comical he appeared to be from a Mad Magazine drawing asked me on three separate occasions for money to “go home.” The amount switched from $10 “To get a cab” to any change to “trying to get a dollar.”

One evening I visited City Lights Books, a famous local bookstore that was packed with people. In the 30 minutes I was in the store, I was the only one who purchased anything. The rest read, and placed back on the shelf. Maybe they were trying to tell me something: wise up, dunce.  In such an expensive city, don’t spend money when you don’t have to.

I wondered if Berkeley would be different. It wasn’t, but change there was a constant theme. Let me stress: I have never seen a city nickel and dime you more than Berkeley. There’s hourly parking on every street, even the suburbs. (All the better to write tickets) Meter parking is also hourly, so you can’t re-feed the meter, you have to move along. Want to park in a lot for an afternoon movie? No sweat – that’ll be $10.

So, if you can't walk somewhere from your abode, who can browse the shops? That’s right: those angling for change. “Dude, can I have some change so I can ride my carpet out of here?” The wind was whipping; I was too cold. “Don’t freeze to death.” Thanks pal. Nearly all stores were empty, except a “vintage” store that priced out its clientele. This is a town which has an un-written rule to not use your fireplace due to pollution. (Higher Gas bills AREN’T pollution, sucker) As I dodged the wind, I over-heard one wino to another- Excuse me, student:

(Yelled)
“I went to college to write. And I’m gonna write a letter about this. And when I show it to the judge, they’re gonna get you.”

All nonsense, I know. But if they see you’re entertained, they’re coming after you…not to be polite, but because you’re supposed to help.  They know this because you wear a coat.

It was an ambling, not exactly easy drive back to LA…but the greenery of the 101 enforced the ideal that this is the Golden State. You can’t be unprepared or not making deals in this town. Up north? Take a seat and go for it - tell people you need help to make a call...