What better a month to continue the countdown than October?! It was times like these that the Horror section at video stores would start to get a bit thin. As such, sometimes you'd end up with your 6th choice. Might one of the films below been such a choice?
#45 - Beyond Dream's Door (1989)
Back of the VHS description: BEYOND DREAM'S DOOR...it's where dreams become reality and your worst nightmares come true. Suspense, action, adventure, and terrifically entertaining story combine to make this tale of terror an unforgettable experience.
Ben Dobbs, an All-American college student, has been repressing his strange and terrifying dreams since childhood. Suddenly, he loses control - his dreams turn into living nightmares where he must find a seductive but deadly dream girl in a house inhabited by the living dead.
In a tense battle of wits, strength and determination, Ben must make the toughest and perhaps last decision of his life.
I felt mixed about this one. When it comes to the movement of the plot, and the action therein, it has all the subtlety of a frying pan to the face. The continued, unnecessary close-ups had more than a touch of film school, and I was correct (Ohio St). The acting is monotone, at best.
And yet...
At least they're trying something interesting here. How long do your dreams stay with you? I remember dreams I had when I was a kid - enough to wake me up as a "bad dream" and none of them are remotely resembling a horror movie. (Mostly resembling a YouTube video of unsettling local TV footage from 1982) I thought about how the woman formerly known as Smiley has vastly different dreams than I yet we're right next to each other. How The Big Scoop usually has dreams of what's interesting her at the moment. About how, after reflection, I remember some daydreams from years back!
The film came and went with me but the concept, the idea, has stayed with me much longer. I usually only stump for remakes if they're really "do-overs" to fix issues beyond their control from the original (some of which is budget in nature) and Beyond Dream's Door certainly deserves such a treatment. The tone can remain the same, even nearly all the plot, but up the game with actual actors and tighter editing, and it would be sensational.
#44 - Blood Lake (1987)
Back of the VHS description: A quick dip into the lake turns into a blood bath of horror.
Six teenagers are looking forward to a weekend of partying, sex, and all around fun. But before the party is even started, one couple disappears, only to be found later brutally murdered. A blood thirsty killer is stalking their summer playground.
One by one bodies begin to turn up. On the beach, in the boat, the vacationers become prey to the venomous, vengeance-seeking maniac. There's only one person left to either kill the killer or be killed. There's no where to hide. Who will come out alive?
Editor's note: Hey, A+ on grammar
Barryfilm presents! "Boss! You gotta look at the files!" And it's actually SHOT ON VIDEO!
We're not 30 seconds into the movie proper, and I'm already laughing. A man whose tube socks are pushed all the way down is just up and stabbed. But even the threat of being stabbed doesn't seem like a big deal...until it is, of course.
You can believe that 6 people can fit into a Trans Am, can't you? Lead, played by the film's writer Doug Barry, might be Marc Summers' twin:
Tony, maybe 14/15, the horniest guy you know: Hey Mike, you gonna be a butthole this weekend or are you gonna let me drink?
Mike: A butthole?! I don't care if you drink. Don't go crazy on us.
This shot above lasts roughly 2 minutes with dialogue all said with their backs to the camera. Gold.
The plot is straight-forward, but as it moves along, the way it evolves makes no sense. Mike hears noises and runs outside to investigate. He yells "oh shit!" and runs around to the shed, and comes back in. False alarm. Was it? If so, why were you so panicked? It doesn't matter, because we can cut to a water-skiing montage to rock & roll! Nice blend of Molly Hatchet and Quarterflash. Plus, Becky in her swimsuit: what a babe. And then...ANOTHER water-skiing montage!
After another time-killing scene playing "Quarters" with homophobic improv galore (and Mike the clear King of this game), it takes more than HALF the movie to be completed before you get any genuine suspense (a drowning, I think? Who needs lights when the moon exists). Perhaps that's why this film is rated so poorly: as a horror film, it's below average. But as a cultural curio of its time and place (Oklahoma, late 80's) it is sensational. It's as if, for 90 minutes, you've found a time machine you can't control, but the visit is worth it.
Closing Credit: Dry Lake Special Effect by An Act of God
#43 - Bloody Moon (1981, 1983 in the US)
Back of the VHS description: Two young American girls living in Europe, are attending a school where they are learning Spanish. Unknown to the girls, in the school, a murder was committed two years ago; in this institution. Miguel, who was accused of the murder, returns to this town, when soon after one of the girls in the school is murdered.
Panic sets in at the school, as the crimes continue, as the police search for the murderer.
Who is the killer???
(Editor's note - the grammar on these boxes is unreal. Why does it always seem as though these descriptions are written by people who've never seen the movie? Is it because that's true?!)
Unlike Violent Shit, this foreign film is more cinematic than nearly anything else on this list. It has great musical stings, whether for suspense (seemingly borrowed from the TV series Kung Fu) or just exposition. This also being a foreign film, means the literal translations sound like the voice actors from language cassettes. (And, wouldn't you know it, there are scenes of the girls listening to just that) Just because one is willing to look past it doesn't mean the viewing experience is any easier.
All that said, my favorite parts were things like this random tennis scene, where a woman acts as a "judge" while 2 other women (who have never played tennis before, it appears) play against a guy.
(Look at that soft lens, the natural light, the "judge")
The California sound plays (the very sting that plays throughout the whole damn movie) as that scene is then, randomly and immediately over; the player is now walking toward topless sunbathers by the pool. He gets pushed in, of course, but so does one of the topless girls, it appears, by accident. Then that scene, too, is randomly and immediately over; we're now on to fully clothed girls catching up by the pool, working on the Spanish lessons.
There are 2 ways to fill in time between kills in these kinds of movies. You can do a waterskiing montage in Oklahoma, or you can shoot something that looks like a foreign perfume commercial at a resort.
Angela then arrives. She'll be staying in bungalow 13.
(Oh, you 1980 Spanish & German babe. Olivia Pascal, you are a bewitching, beguiling gal. It is up to me to save you from the weirdo with the facial skin rash and hair worse than my own.)
That weirdo is one of many men trying to sneak into your place while you do such tasks as unpack and inspect each piece of clothing as if you're seeing it for the first time.
Life won't get any easier for Angela. She'll surely witness a murder, even hearing the confession on one of those language cassettes. A giant "boulder" might almost crush you out of nowhere. You'll "murder" a mannequin. It takes you almost becoming the final victim to then get the fuck out. And there it ends. Yes, I'm leaving out a lot of weird bits here, and I'm in no rush to see this again, but it wasn't a total waste of time.
#42 - The Children (1980, in theaters)
Folks, when that bus goes through the radioactive smoke, it's all over. See this movie. Here's another:
Honestly, give this a shot. You will be entertained. If these commercials can't sell you on your time, know that Terror Trap refers to this as a "tacky exploitation film." You'll need to be in the mood to see a tacky exploitation film, but when you are, this should be at the top of your list. I could go on and on, but I'm doing that already!
#41 - Anthropophagus: The Grim Reaper (1980)
Back of the VHS description: A deserted beach. A bloodcurdling scream. A decapitated head. So ends another tourist's holiday. So begins another Anthropophagus The Beast as it gallops through shock after bloody shock. Probably one of the most frightening films you will ever see, it will leave you wondering if deep inside us all, there may lurk the cannibal. Watch it, if you dare!
Gotta say, the setup about sent me to the off button, but it was a half-hour in until we very s l o w l y saw some sort of plot movement and payoff. Nice instrumental music from the "In Search Of..." files. And, after a stabbing, the rest of the island visitors consoling the killer is a unique turn of events for these kinds of films. I don't know - maybe I'm watching too many of these (as if that's a problem). But I was left wondering if Bleeding Skull put some titles in here to give the Comic Book Guy vibe of "yeah, but have you seen THIS?!" Well, I've seen this, and I'm ready for the next title.
Still, though, Halloween is right around the corner. Anyone up for water skiing? If you come along, I'll get you a beer if you won't be a butthole.
