(Editor's Note: With Halloween around the corner, Trip Darvez releases another old column from the defunct L.A. Reader. This story is from October 28th, 1982)
Here at the Thrifty Drug on Magnolia Blvd., the kids are going through the usual paces: looking at the costume accessories, ogling the candy, staring through the glass case at the ice cream. In that respect, nothing is new. But ask their parents, or go a few aisles over, and you'll get a different story.
A handwritten sign is on shelves on both sides of Aisle 9: "PLEASE ALERT US IF YOU SEE ANY TAMPERED MERCHANDISE." And while people are telling store manager Mike Cristofano "They'd rather just have a headache than die." he thought he'd only have to deal with Asile 9. But as Halloween approaches, the parents are out in full force. Not just with Tylenol, Bufferin, Anacin, and the like...but with Brach's?
A mother, Julia, says "See...these don't have anything on the label." So what? "Anyone could put something in the candy. Pins, poison, whatever." Couldn't 'they' do that to anyone? "Yes. That's why we're having a party instead." That idea was brought up to the kids who couldn't have disagreed further. "No! We're going out trick or treating." said one whose name I can't print, lest he get caught. "I am. We already have our route. I'm going as Pac-Man. He's (a friend next to him, also nameless) going as an LA Ram. Hey, what did my Mom say?" I wasn't going to get into the middle of this, but each side made their point.
Most people giving out candy (if you're lucky to have a house...for now) didn't seem to care if kids ate it or not, but it turns out I was shopping at the wrong time. At the Lucky market a mile or two down the road, a housewife was stocking up. "I can't, in good conscious, hand out those fun-size treats." She, too, was afraid...almost of herself. "I don't want to accidentally poison someone." Her response was to make and hand out snacks that kids would eat off paper plates in front of the house. "I found an apricot cheesecake recipe in Family Circle. Let's see, I need unflavored gelatin." Aren't parents stressing that kids not take unwrapped candy this year? "Well, I would never...are you saying that kids won't..I don't know why..." She pushed her cart away.
It appears that Sunday night will tell us how much the hysteria hits the actual kids - about 2/3rds told me they eat the candy while trick or treating, thus less to carry down the road. Their one complaint of all the adults making changes this year: raisins as a substitute. "My mom won't let me take apples because of razor blades in them, you know? But raisins suck." I hope they don't go to Ramona's house: she was stocking up on raisins when I met her. "Kids have enough candy as it is. It's safer to give them raisins now. Who's going to poison raisins?" Why stop there? Why not just pour from a big bag of rice? How about samples of linoleum...or maybe a pack of smokes?
One other aspect worth reporting was the merry pranksters of the high school set, but the lone response I received seem to sum up the whole experience. "Halloween...it's on a Sunday, so...man, this year I'm just gonna get drunk."
