Laughing all the way FROM the bank

In-between the madness of Stephen F. Austin State University doing what they do on the basketball court and the pile of tall cans in the backyard as evidence of a "typical" St. Patrick's Day, Cactus League baseball is stretching and straining in Arizona.  For the National League team at Cameltoe Ranch, the Dodgers are getting into mid-season injury form.  Currently, the Dodgers are playing an exhibition against Seattle.  In theory, this game should be on the Dodgers-owned cable channel, SportsnetLA.  But instead, they are replaying Sunday's split-squad defeat to San Diego.

Just to summarize: A channel only Time Warner and Charter subscribers can see, one devoted entirely to the Dodgers and nothing else, can't even air the team's spring training games live because...

And don't think this is an isolated incident.  It's happened again and again this Spring.  "[I]t's a reaction based on viewership of weekday games." said a channel rep.  The channel cut their game coverage in half.  You'll wan't this channel now, right, fans?

The dynamics of sports on television these days shows its value in a multi-platform world.  This, in theory, is a bargaining tool for the owners.  The Dodgers are the owners, Time Warner the facilitators, and it's should be an easy deal, correct?   A "Home Run" for Southern California viewers.

Well, maybe, except for one fatal flaw: The Lakers did it first, and no one cared.

In the Spring of 2011, when the Lakers announced they would forgo Fox Sports West and KCAL, it was met locally with sadness.  "It's the future" was the refrain, and that fans would be getting more content than ever before.  A future where they wouldn't make the conference finals, Phil leaves for the first time for the last time, and "a new era begins."

After the strike (and while Mike Brown slowly brought the team down) the Lakers have been worse than the previous year ever since the channel started.  You can imagine the demand for said channel as each year went by.  And when cable and satellite companies decided to pass along TWC Sportsnet's fee directly to consumers, the complaints were loud.  Louder than the fandom for this can't-miss opportunity to give the Lakers a dedicated home.

The Dodgers didn't give a fuck about what happened to the Lakers interest when they made their own channel.  There would be twice as many games on THEIR channel, and just as the Lakers broke the back of all the cable and satellite companies in "demand," the declines wouldn't happen to the Dodgers.

But those cable and satellite companies had been burned once.  Southern California viewers had been burned once.  Time Warner was only warm, and they needed the cash.  The Dodgers got theirs...8 BILLION.  They don't give a fuck.

"Hey - can't see the games?  Don't look at us.  We own it, but you know, we're a baseball team.  What do we know about dealing with a cable company besides getting bags of cash?  Would you expect us to negotiate a good deal?  How about our deal trading Dee Gordon?  I thought so.  Call your operator and demand it now!"

And there it is.  In 2014, for the first time since the 1940's, there was no local or cable TV for all Dodgers fans.  That's progress.  So what if it's their lowest season ratings on record, and the ratings for Angels' games grew +49% year to year.

2014, and 2015...and, again 2016.  Nothing has changed, the team doesn't care, so...should you?  As a fan, should you go out of your way to spend even MORE?  Will you be satisfied?  Or, like the LA Rams move, will the team just be a memory?

Perhaps...of course, the team is still here.

Dodger Stadium: Park at your Own Risk

As I sit in a monitoring cell today, the Dodgers have the best record in the major leagues.  I have no idea how this happened, particularly now with a steady stream of injuries.  (An infielder thankfully was taken to the hospital at the right time, avoiding an amputation - I kid you not)  They finished yet another sweep of a first-place team, this time the Cards.  I'm ready to write another blog about Tommy Lasorda and victory eating, when I read this morning's story:

"Dodger fan beaten as pregnant girlfriend watched in shock."

Son of a bitch...let me guess where this took place...yes, the Dodger Stadium parking lot.

Despite the team's surprising start, last season's opening day crime is still fresh in fan's minds.  Last season, fans had plenty of reasons to avoid games, a parking lot beat-down at the top of the list.  Yet now, they'd like to think all of those negative aspects, including parking lot insanity, faded away. 

The LAPD can call it "road rage" (road rage IN A PARKING LOT?!)  or try to pass the buck with quotes like this because...

“In a Dodger season there are 81 games, they will draw 3 million people and on any given day they can have a sellout with 56,000 people. I don’t believe that any law enforcement agency or any professional sports team could guarantee there would never be any type of incident with those types of numbers,”

AH - I get it.  So really, odds are, someone...what, every month or so...will just get roughed up in the least and nearly killed at most because there's too many people?  Folks, this time it was fan on fan because that Chevy might have hit that Honda, or was it the other way around?  All at 5-10 mph?   Of course, this time, there was enough LAPD on the scene to catch the criminals.  They were there, likely, because last year someone was nearly killed.  Whatever it takes, right?

The perception, however often crimes such as this occur, will be come the reality (correctly or otherwise) to the fan.  Not unlike the New York City subways of the 1980s, if fans think the lots are beat down zones, regardless of increased police presence, they'll stay away.

Speaking of trains, last week a friend and I spoke of the joyous news that a new Metro train line now makes it all the way to Culver City.  This was good for us on the west end of town - park there, train to downtown, shuttle to the stadium.  We talked of good things: saving on parking money, an extra beer...and then the added point "plus, we won't get beat up in the parking lot."  "Yeah," he chuckled.  I meant it as (mostly) a joke. 

I hasten to say it, but this is the new ownership's group first moment to do something positive.  And do it quickly.  Because eventually (and quietly) if the parking lot turns into an L.A. Raiders game, no matter how good the Dodgers are or become, you won't want to see the results...

Foul Balls

So, our beloved Bums are now "owned" by Major League Baseball.  Or is it "controlled?"  "Making decisions?"  Whatever the phrase, it is the beginning of a step in the right direction.  Slimey McSlime is slowly on his way out, facing a very tough future.  His business deals, shady as the day is long...his wife, who only seemed to be married to him if it helped her own bottom line...the houses, bought high (in value and in total) and sitting low.  But my favorite: Owning land...creating a new company..."selling" the land to the new company...then PAYING RENT to it.  It's something you still own, but you create something else to support. 

This, while the parking lot gets sketchy.

Questions to consider:
Are there Dodger fans who were L.A. Raiders fans?  Of course. 
Did the L.A. Raiders fans become Dodgers fans once the team moved back north?  Possibly. 
Did that mentality of the fans in the stands slowly turn Raiders?  Not really.
Is the parking lot a clusterfuck, enraging even the saintly?  Absolutely.

Since the divorce trial, Slimey has taken a very hands-off approach.  He's seen less frequently, and heard from even less than that.  It took a week for Slimey to acknowledge a Giants fan beaten by the "gang mentality" (LAPD's words) and it appeared Slimey was most concerned with how it would cost him money.  Money he doesn't have, ironically. 

In a very USFL move, Slimey took out a loan from Fox Sports to give the organization the April paychecks.  Good PR move.  With the prospect of a stadium 1/4th full...fans scared to go to games in person, and an owner who can't foot the bill for the all-you-can-eat section, MLB did the right thing.  All Dodger fans I know (and those who aren't) like the change. 

Who doesn't?  McSlime loyalists, such as Steve Soboroff.  None of this was really his business until, just as this deal went down, McSlime hired Soboroff to become "Vice Chairman."  (Hey - that was his wife's old job!)  One of his duties is to "improve the fan experience" which (as of now) means "not getting knifed in parking lot J."  In his latest "interview" to the LA Times, Soboroff included these gems:

On Slimey McSlime:
"[He's] a different person now moving forward."

On why he's the right man for the job:
"I don't drink. I don't use drugs. I don't use steroids."

Let's just do a block quote from the story because holy SHIT:
On Commissioner Bud Selig: "What did the commissioner of baseball do? He increased the value, he increased revenue lines. He did all kinds of great things for baseball. If you read his Wikipedia and you read Frank's Wikipedia, they ain't too different."


Reading between the lines of all Gofuckoff stated shows 1 thing: his concern is for Slimey McSlime.  The Dodgers?  Well...yeah, but you know, my pal Slimey will be just fine.  (Anyone else sensing under the table money?)  Meanwhile, the future is completely unknown for the team going forward.  Setting the scorecard, you have a 1st time 1st-year manager leading a team of players...the majority of which are new to the organization.  And who are the 3 right now at the top?
Bud Selig
Slimey McSlime
Steve Soboroff, who's been on the job less than a week, and has no experience.  (He doesn't seem too concerned about the team, either)
 
Our beloved Dodge are fucked.  Tommy!  Big Pisan!  Save us!