Leading into March Madness earlier this year (a time when I was leaving it all on the table only to get back nearly exact change) a reality ignited my brain: I'm never going to get this money. Maybe that's too pessimistic, but I guess I tried to think forwards on how a withdrawal would go and it played out with a whole mess o rigmarole, checks I couldn't cash, crypto "tokens" and all this and I guess I just said, "screw it" and went even crazier. Might as well let it all ride.
(This part is not in my mind) I did not remember to check how that last one went until September when the itch of college football returned. I guess that last week in March could be summed up as "wrong choice" but monetarily, what's real? I don't know for sure, but I do know the siren call of the action was strong. After review, I said to a fellow degenerate that I liked Duke. I wished that Vanderbilt had better odds (fucking way she goes), and I was considering others.
I let those sit until Saturday, finally rousted about. Oof, that Vandy bet isn't looking good. Guess I'd better hedge. You know, I don't buy this shit with Nebraska, and I think North Dakota went to the playoffs this year, or something. +28 is a strong, even number. Let's do it, Fighting S---wait, that was changed, right?
After dropping off the Big Scoop at rehearsal, I find the "Commodore Radio Network" in the car and hear a late, backbreaking interception. Ah, oh well. At least we hedged. Again, this money doesn't exist.
I get home and sit back in the office with snacks only to see an update:
NC State 31
Vanderbilt 35
I'm surprised to see a typo on this app. I refresh. It stays. The hell? I get out of whatever game I was watching and see the clip. I'm left speechless. I've been on the other end of these before...but when's it ever hit my way? I don't think it has. In the words of the late Potsy, "never a doubt." I just shake my head. I throw up my hands. A moment I wish I was in the sportsbook just to see the reaction.
As I snack and watch Toledo surge against Temple, I sit there more bemused than anything in the afterglow. If you can't laugh at these things, if you can't laugh at yourself, then you really can't live this degenerate life. Evening arrives and as I begin to make tacos, I check in to see Nebraska in control of North Dakota. Whatever - what charms there are arrived earlier, enough to last a year.
Took a bit to get back in the groove afterwards (fresh guacamole is fresh guacamole), but once I did, it appears that North Dakota is starting to hold up their end of the bargain. Who knows? I guess I should check in on the "Lane Bowl" and...whoa, Cal Poly and San Diego!
A while later, it takes a drink refill to check out the other scores, and there it sits. It stares at me so much I do a double take. Maybe I shook my head like Don Knotts - there wasn't a mirror on the desk (this time):
North Dakota 7
Nebraska 34
The Nebraska offense sputters to end the game, getting a field goal instead of a late touchdown. By a single point, the hedge wins, too. "I guess I should get a lotto ticket" I text my fellow degenerate. I don't believe this. He shares his good fortune: by Nebraska not laying down the law, this move helped him win a parlay. He, too, is happy.
I push it through to the end of Purdue/UCLA because I only know one way, and then start to wind down. This has been a remarkable day, one that I'll remember in good times and (specifically) bad times, so that the bad times are evened out. I slept better than I had in days.
Awaking to the comforting tones of my neighbor getting out his trash bin as early as possible, the instant breakfast is made, and I sit at the computer to once again marvel at the goings on and realize I've forgotten something:
"I like Duke" I said earlier in the week (specifically pertaining to them playing Stanford at home). That one, the easiest bet of the day (it turned out) and my largest as well, came in along with the rest. An embarrassment of riches.
This isn't the first time this has happened to me, but the way in which it did almost makes me want to just stop right here. It'll never be like this again. Never so pleasantly surprising, never on the right side of the razor's edge, all at the same time. Maybe I should. Again, if this money will never be seen, why waste the---
Aw come on, I'm on a hot streak! What's out there?!
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