Good Morning, Dave: Vindication Hardware

It's been a while since The David Letterman Show ended.  Dave has since guest-hosted The Tonight Show multiple times and created an HBO special titled "Looking for Fun."  (It's a doozy)  But, the Daytime Emmys are also this time of year, and the show has already won a writing award in the non-televised program.  Up next is the hosting award, and we turn (as we did for every important entertainment extravaganza back then) to Dick Clark.

Yes, he introduces Hasselhoff.

As you'll see in the clip:
1. Even in a "serious" setting, Dave wryly sends-up the task of award-show thanks.  Then turning serious, he finishes with another joke.  I can't help but thinking it's said with just a touch of "all these months later...seriously, what am I going to do now?"

2. Deidre Hall applauds him off with a warm smile.  Can't place the guy next to her...guessing he was on Days of Our Lives as well.  Dick Clark smiles and applauds as he takes the stage, but then he did that with everyone, on every show, because he was a god damn pro.

3. Following the award, it goes to outstanding variety series.  I'll leave it up to you which is the better show between Dave and Merv.  Ricky Schroder steals the Merv clip.  Is it let-down applause?  Merv's producer is polite, though.

4. Seeing the ads, the early 80's were THE time for soap operas.

So it goes.  A year ago (in May of 1980), Dave was promoting this show ahead of time on The Tonight Show, and seemed slightly nervous at the daunting challenge ahead of him.  By the time he'd ironed out the kinks, it didn't last much longer.

A year after this (by May 1982), however, he'd be doing the same kind of show, and never looked back.  (Seriously, even at the end of the Late Show, the clips weren't exactly overflowing, particularly from the morning show days)  But there he is, an Emmy winning host, unknowingly biding his time.

Fear on Saturday Night Live: Hazy Memories

As with any holiday, traditions come to mind.  For Halloween, beyond The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and various horror movies, I watch the Halloween '81 episode of Saturday Night Live.  You know, the one hosted by Donald Pleasence.  Oh, you don't remember that episode?  Maybe you remember the musical guest: Fear.

Here and there you can find clips of this show, particularly of their second performance.  But what interests me most is the differing tales of what happened that night.  30+ years is a long time, and yet the memories seem to change.  You forget something, roughly 50% comes back to you, and then that's the reality.  My sister thinks one 4th of July there was a fire in the yard.  In truth, a fallen bottle rocket set off a fire no larger than the rocket itself, and I put it out quickly (and with minimal dramatics) with a garden hose.  But ask her about it now, and you'd think the house was in danger.  There - do you grasp the concept?

Let's compare people's memories: a video interview with John Joseph of the Cro-Mags (who still looks and talks like a longshoreman), and multiple descriptions of the day's events by Ian MacKaye (One even came from NPR...one of the 20 shows they have where people just talk in front of an audience with acoustic guitar and mandolin music).  Both were there that night.  I'll also include information from the 1985 book Saturday Night by Doug Hill and Jeff Weingrad, and the book Mr. Mike by Dennis Perrin.  For magazines, let's go even further back: a November 1981 Billboard Magazine, and a New York Magazine article from November of 1981 as well, written by Roger Director.

Why the punks were invited to "slam dance"

Mr. Mike: Not only did O’Donoghue want Fear, he wanted to project the chaos of a punk club into America’s living rooms, and to this end he and Belushi brought in some forty skinheads from Washington DC to slam dance and stage dive while the band performed.

Saturday Night: Belushi and O’Donoghue had arranged for thirty-five or so of Fear’s rowdy fans to take a bus up from Washington so they could slam dance in 8H as the band played.

John Joseph: "I bump into Ian MacKaye and he's like 'Yo!  Fear is playing on Saturday Night Live tonight.  You know, show up at Rockefeller Center at this time.  Everybody's gonna get in!'"

Ian MacKaye: "I got a call around 10 in the morning...and a voice said 'Lorne Michaels office, please hold.'  And I had no idea what that meant."

Now, the reason I wrote the example above was for this very quote.  In print recollections as well, Ian drops Michaels' name.  Lorne's produced, what, 88% of all SNL episodes?  But he wasn't there for this episode, and I kind of think Ian forgot and just assigned Lorne's name to it.  In fact, it was that incorrect first fact that lead me to wonder what else might be wrong.  (This is unfortunate, I know,  Shit, I was just a kid when this was on the air, but if you don't remember something, no one will fault you for saying you don't know)

The dress rehearsal

Why have the punks also slam for the dress rehearsal?  You can think of reasons why and why not to, but...

Ian MacKaye: "We were talking and I said 'Listen.  Don't blow it.  Because, if we blow it, we won't be on the live show."  So we're dancing, and we're trying to keep it cool, but someone knocked into a camera and it fell over.  It was an accident.  So we're led back into the Green Room and they said 'You have just caused $100,000 worth of damage.'  So they locked us in the Green Room."

John Joseph: "There was a piano in there, we pulled all the strings out.  We were fucking...we get out, slam dancing in the room.  Went out in the hallway, broke the sinks.  Fucked the whole place up."

Saturday Night: During dress rehearsal, some of the slam dancers got carried away, cursing and tumbling off the set, banging into one cameraman and nearly colliding with some of the others.  The song was stopped in the middle to cool them down.  When dress ended, members of the technical crew complained vehemently to Davey Wilson, and Wilson told Dick that the crew was threatening to walk off the show unless the slam dancers were dropped.  Dick told him the dancers would go on, but he went up to see them in the Green Room to lay down some rules.  O’Donoghue went with him, but only to watch.  Dick didn't mention it, but for the air show, during Fear’s song, he took the precaution of turning off all the mikes in the studio except the singer’s.

Ian also states that "they" said the punks would NOT go on, but then Belushi said HE wouldn't make his cameo in the show.  Either way, it's on.

As arranged during the dress rehearsal, Fear plays their first song, "I Don't Care About You" without the punks.

Each time I view this episode, I get a sense of anticipation.  I can only imagine some of those involved dreading this segment, but there was no going back.

"Hotel accommodations for most guests of Saturday Night were furnished by Berkshire Place."  I truly hope Fear was put at this hotel and not somewhere else.  They deserve it.  I envision Lee walking up to that couple and asking if he can join them for dinner.

Showtime for the punks

Ian MacKaye: "Actually, there were fights breaking out between audience members and the kids."

John Joseph: "Even before the band played, people are just fucking, you know, slamming into each other."

(Donald, doing his best to introduce Fear and warn the audience)

John Joseph: "You know, Fear comes on and it was like BOOM!"

(Fear begins "Beef Baloney")

John Joseph: "John Belushi's going nuts."

There is conflicting evidence on whether Belushi DID dance or decided at the last minute not to.  You'd think a camera would be trying to find him if he was in the crowd.

(Punks enjoying "New York's Alright if You Like Saxophones")

Saturday Night: (Dick) heard somebody yell “New York sucks!” and saw one of the dancers heading toward the singer’s microphone.  Frantically, Dick got up and ran as fast as he could into the control room and shouted at Dave Wilson “Fade to black!”

Ian MacKaye: "You'll hear one moment, where the microphone stand falls into the crowd, you'll hear, very clearly someone shout 'NEW YORK SUCKS!'  And that voice belongs to me."

John Joseph: "Ian MacKaye grabs the mic and he's like 'Fuck New York!  New York sucks!'  On Saturday Night Live!  And Lee Ving's immediately like 'Ah, he doesn't really mean that.'"

Lee's actual quote was "He's just kidding.  We want to make friends."

Lee then introduces "Let's Have a War" with "For anyone who voted...this is for Republicans and Democrats alike.  1-2-3-4 1-2-3-4!"

The giant pumpkin, part of that night's set, is being led onto the stage the very moment the screen cuts to a pre-taped segment from the season premiere.  Fear's segment ends, and everyone's memories clash:

Saturday Night: When the slam dancers, supposedly berserk, saw the stage lights go out and realized they were no longer on-air, they immediately stopped dancing and peacefully walked off set.

Mr. Mike: In the studio, Fear ceased playing and the skinheads walked off the set. 

Ian MacKaye: "As we were lead off the set, Eddie Murphy said "FUCK YOU!"  We were then locked into a producer's room, where we were making phone calls.  It seems like a thing to do."  

John Joseph: "Security realized this ain't their dancing, these motherfuckers are fighting, they came out to the dance floor to, like, get us out of the studio.  But we was like 'Yo.'  People were, like, slamming them to the ground.  The head of Security gets on the mic and is like 'Everyone has to get out of here!  That's it!  The show's over!  We want you guys outta here!  So my friend picks up a pumpkin, cause it's Halloween, and he just fucking launches the pumpkin, smacks the fuckin' guy right in the head, the guy fuckin' falls on the ground, and the next thing, that's when the shit hit the fuckin' fan."

Was Ian up in the office at that point?  Why didn't this anecdote make the books?  Hard to say, huh?

The Aftermath

John Joseph: "Finally, the NYPD shows up, with billy clubs, fuckin' like, fucking...people up and we're like 'Oh shit!"

Ian MacKaye: "After being told that chargers were going to be pressed, we were then let go.  I had to pay for parking, which was expensive.  But no charges were pressed."

If this truly was O'Donoghue's and Belushi's idea, the charges would have involved THEM, and NBC likely wouldn't want that out in the open.  Speaking of, it didn't take long for the beacon of journalism that is the New York Post to report on its findings.

New York Post's "inside" story   

Saturday Night: A few days later, (Dick) was further incensed when the New York Post reported, completely inaccurately, that there had been a riot in the studio causing $200,000 worth of damage.  In truth, a plastic camera-case lock worth something like $40 had been broken.

Mr. Mike: “inside” sources spoke of “a riot, mindless, out-of-control destruction of property.”  “This was a life-threatening situation.  They went crazy.  It’s amazing that no one was killed.”

John Joseph: "The next day, the New York Post, it says 'Riot on the set of Saturday Night Live causes, like, a quarter of a million dollars worth of damage" 

The book Live from New York - Ebersol: Anyway, the total damage that was done in the studio was about $2,500.

Ian MacKaye: "The $100,000 camera was just a $20 piece of plastic."

Billboard Magazine:  "As far as we can tell, there has been no $200,000 worth of damages.  We had to pay $40 worth of labor penalties.  That was the extent of it." - SNL spokesman Peter Hamilton

Billboard Magazine: "In point of fact, nobody was hurt and nothing was smashed." - Lee Ving, who, according to Billboard, was "unaware of any controversy until the Post story was read to him."  

New York Magazine: "I’m really not mad at the band.  I’m mad at those kids that were slamming." - Ebersol.

(The actual headline from the Post: "Fear Riot Leave Saturday Night Glad to be Alive.")

Final Thought

John Joseph: [C]ause we was just kicking camera over, screens, anything that looked like it costs money...Bam!  Next!"

Well, in the words of Robert Evans, there are three sides to every story: Your side, my side, and the truth.  And no one is lying.  Memories shared serve each differently.

The Dome finally goes to the Dump

(Editor's Note: Writer Trip Darvez mentioned that this story is "likely the least Gold topic there is" but felt it was worth sharing all the same.)

From the 50's to 1981, Metropolitan Stadium was the major sporting venue in the Twin Cities.  By first and all glances, it isn't much.  As the general sports scene grew up in the area, the volume of sports fans increased.  The stadium game at the time dictated little change beyond "maintenance," so things like "indoor bathrooms for half the stadium" were never implemented.  And yet, football fans continued to pack the place.  When the Metrodome was built, fans had to accept the inevitable: the fun, the home field advantage enjoyed...it's all gone.

Before the final game, it hit tailgaters like a bottle to the head: this was it.  When you move to your new stadium, Duane and Carl, you can't tailgate.  This was no reason to give up, though: they were there to make the best of the situation.

At this point, the Vikings were out of the playoffs.  Nothing to do but play out the string.  Knowing that, look at these folks...

They are having a fantastic time, already on Schmidt #2 and it's not even 11AM.  Doesn't matter.  Well, hours later, it was game time, and the mood ebbed and flowed per usual, but the celebratory toasts went all afternoon.  How else are you supposed to stay warm?

NBC Sports was there to cover the game, and they milked it for all it's worth.  It's tough selling a game the last week of the season with two teams out of it.  Montages of the park's building...all the highlights to Frank Sinatra.

Two exclamation points.  We're live!!  The game: boring.  Vikings tease a comeback but lose (there's a shock).  And yet, throughout the game, there were shots of what everyone was feeling...we're saying goodbye to a friend.  Life as a fan is changing, and change in Minnesota is difficult.  It's especially so when it's change that seems to be for the "better" but is so far from "the same" that nostalgia pours through the veins.

With the game over, despite the increased security, fans stormed the field.  In the stands, they took everything they could.  You're taking away "my" stadium?  Well, then I can pick this carcass clean.  What do you think about that, Mr. Politician?  I'm not going to buy anything.  I was here in the cold for years.  I deserve this.  This is mine.

And then, as the drunks slowly sobered up, and reality '81 was setting in, a banner flew from fans among the debris:

The definition of being a fan was changing.  You were to pay increased prices, buy merchandise, and cheer when the big scoreboard's clapping hands told you to.  I'm not sure if this was the prevailing mood of everyone at the time, but a vintage news clip held this nugget: a fan, tailgating outside before the game...

"The dome is beautiful, something we gotta have, but...(looks around) this is the best."

Progress, Metrodome style, meant:
Built to budget withOUT adjustments to inflation (which was sky high at the time)
No air conditioning because "it's built underground"
Cheap astroturf with minimal padding
1 sheet of turf for all sports.

So, now in 2013, the Blunderdome is finally getting the ax.  I mean, look at it:

The roof looks worn and...whoa - I'm sorry, that's a photo from 20 YEARS AGO.  As newer stadiums went for either bang or bang for your buck, the Metrodome was neither.  It's complete lack of amenities (and comical attempts to make up for it) glaring to each visitor made it almost embarrassing to enter.  This didn't stop the Metrodome from hosting major events, but it was rare that the major event ever returned for a 2nd go around...they saw all they needed to see.

With the stadium long-overdue for the wrecking ball, I asked former Pacific Gold writer Drew Boatman for his thoughts.  He, too, suffered through the stadium as the only game in town, and together we present you a summary of this stadium as a venue:

The stadium itself:

• That it took almost 10 years to get a video board.  Video replays attempted to be played on the black and white scoreboard, which was clearly incapable of doing so.  Canterbury Park had a better video board at its start.
• The cups for drinks at the start...a soda said "cold drink" (blue) and beer said "Beer" (yellow)  Reusse says "At least the pop says it's cold...they can keep the beer any temperature they want"
• One sheet of turf meant chalk lines...on turf...we can't have PAINT in the end zone, that would cost too much.  Chalk.  Chalk yard lines...chalk end zones.  Cheap, cheap, cheap...
• The Met concessions sold cigarettes and cigars (!) but the Met was proudly "No Smoking!"  When enough of a fight was put up, They converted an entryway into a smoking lounge and piped in the radio call..
• The "We Like It Here" banner, put up as if to deflect attention, likely written by Sid Hartman.

Football:

• When the Super Bowl was at the dome, instead of replacing the worn astroturf, they just painted it to "look new."
• Heading to the bathroom during Super Bowl XXVI (which most people only did at the end of quarters/halftime to not miss anything) and seeing hookers in the concourse.  (Editor's Note: not a slam against the stadium per se, but something they should have included going forward)
• "Security" only seemed to exist to help old people find their seats

Baseball: Minnesota got indoor baseball to combat cold and rain-outs.  Be careful what you wish for...

• The Twins (awkwardly shoehorned into a football stadium) played "Talking Domeball" during the 80's after a Twins loss, a god-awful song.
• The Hormel Row of Fame promotion during Twins games.  The winning row won a free hot dog.  As the song goes, "Great for lunch, great for dinner, you could be a wiener winner in the Hormel Row of Fame"  People were embarrassed every time.
• The Twins band-wagon fan base swelling during World Championship runs, turning it into an "advantage" - an advantage that went away when they weren't playing good...

Basketball?!  Yes, basketball was played there.  No one wanted to play at the Met Center or St. Paul Civic Center...so it was the dome.  A decision made over and over again...the wrong decision.

• An awful place to watch a game.  You had to have GREAT seats...otherwise, you're screwed.  The great seats were about 8,000 total.
• The 1st NCAA tournament games in 1986 (sitting on the 3rd base side about 20 rows up) and still not being able to see anything.
• 1996 regional finals, and my seats were further down the 3rd base line...FACING OTHER SEATS.  You had to turn completely to your right to see the court.  The fact that these seats were sold without any sort of discount tells you something about the Metropolitan Stadium Commission.
• Sitting in the upper deck for a basketball game, Drew thought " there is absolutely no worse place on planet earth to watch a basketball game."

And yet, realities gave the Metrodome a much longer shelf life than it ever deserved (if it should have been built that way in the first place).  So, with it finally gone, I searched far and wide to see if I could find the same thoughts by fans on this stadium going away.  Not memories of teams...of missing the stadium.  The same way people missed and loved the Met.  Any video or photo evidence would be included.

Well, as of this writing, 10,000 seats have been sold (not taken, sold, with accepting fans) so there is some nostalgia...but still I searched.  I wanted to find someone who said they loved the place.  Someone who enjoyed the whole environment of the dome.  After reading nearly a dozen articles (and scanning video footage), I found a quote:

"People called it a dump,” Lonke said as he looked around the stadium. “But it was our dump. And we loved it.”

Even someone who loved it called it a dump. Or maybe it was this quote that sums it up:

"I am going to miss the Metrodome,” Tom Tolve of Brooklyn Park. “I usually come at least once a year for a monster truck rally.”