This is it. We're at the "it's not if but when" stage of Ol Bess.
After the mechanic did the last, needed repairs, he sighed and said "It
runs." Wow, thanks. So, time to really look and get that new car. Or
new to me. Whatever, I don't care.
That's an honest problem: I don't care.
Well...I DO care, you know. It's just...in the words of Keith Levene,
"I only know what I don't like." But as for what it should be, what are
the options? Near everything? OK...um...
There are sales. Drive-a-thon. April Showers of Savings. Memorial Day. Sell-abration. Even "I know a guy who..."
An unidentified man is asked in the landmark album Chains and Black
Exhaust his most important factors in choosing a car at the auto show.
"It's the color, man, and the monthly payments." Amen. At work, my
office window faces the Hollywood Freeway from a high distance, and
here's what I see, oh, 90% of the time: White, Silver/Grey, Black. Over
and over, an endless Raiders parade. Occasionally a red car sticks
out...but that's it. Shit, when I got Ol Bess, Black was so UNPOPULAR
that Saturn didn't even have a basic black car. They had "Blackberry"
which I took...and I noticed with a little grime, it was 100% black.
Where was I...right, the sniff. I just saw 5 silver/grey
cars cross the freeway simultaneously. Damn, do people not care about
this anymore? Is it only me?
How are we doing for the following colors, car companies?
Goldenrod
Sunset Dusk
Sunset Musk
Horizon
Burnt Sienna
Burnt Orange
Powder Blue
Chevy Vans with murals painted on the sides
Red with non-optional racing stripe
Do the features include "power" options? Is the interior
plush? Is cruise control standard? Is there an antenna? A USB port?
Does it seat passengers "comfortably?" Can the navigation screen be
changed to reruns of Hardcastle & McCormick?
This is California. This'll be easy, just you see. (silently continues to convince himself of that fact)
