Wednesday, May 20, 2009

"But now, it was a whole new enchilada."

"Summer," by our own sense, is less than a week away. As time passes there are glimpses of good fortune while, surrounding me, changes that can't possibly be for good.

1. Michelob has changed their bottle...again.

I simply can't understand the decision, nor can I be expected to enjoy the result. So often, so many products fail to understand their own role and why they are where they are. Those dolts in St. Louis did this earlier this decade: they attempted to make Michelob their version of Sammy Adams. This way, you wouldn't want those good beers, you'd want A/B's version of them. Too little and too late, slick. Those few beers seemed to be ignored and Michelob went to a similar version of the classic bottle. Yes, I'll consider buying it again. Hell, weekends are for the beer, right? Doesn't the night belong to it as well? Not no more, sucka. A/B marketing has failed again with this bullshit, and here comes an entire designer line of elixir that is somehow supposed to make my wallet explode. Would you like the "craft sampler pack?" No, I'd like to get drunk. I have no idea what I'm getting with this, other than paying too much. Sure, a heavy beer or one with high alcohol content might do the trick. But in beer 101 you've just failed. I don't see a lot of commercial prospects on the advanced courses.

2. God Bless America is now played before the 7th Inning Stretch at Dodger Stadium.

Ned Colletti claims it was the owner's wife's idea. I wasn't aware she could make such decisions, but her man IS the boss. But let's get some facts straight: this was never done in the history of Dodger Stadium. Secondly, we already have the national anthem. Why yet another song? Does this make me un-patriotic to demand its removal? No, I'm just wondering what the hell it's doing in the middle of a baseball game! If we need to be so patriotic, why not rotate the songs at the beginning of the game? Maybe one night we can "sing" Stars and Stripes Forever. Could we begin a game with I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy? (Boston wouldn't go for that) And why do we have to keep it just to the United States? I propose in the middle of the 3rd inning, we sing the California State Song, "I Love You, California." Oh, is that too much? Would that delay the game?

At first I thought I was the only one who noticed this. At a game a couple of weeks ago, I knew what was coming so I went to the feedbags. Two guys were in front of me and one turned to the other to say "Oh, it's time for the 7th inning stretch." When God Bless America was sung by a weather girl from a local TV station, I was not alone with a confused look. By the time Take Me Out showed up, the enthusiasm in the stands was GONE.

Jon Weisman writes the Dodgers blog on the LA Times website, and he wrote a column in mid-April stating this was overkill and that he'd probably get a lot of shit for it. What happened? Over 90% of the commenters agreed with him! Maybe this will change...or maybe the god of your choice (if you have one) doesn't care if you have an American flag or a San Francisco 49ers flag on your porch.

3. Someone new will be in the MNF booth this fall.

This could be a good thing because this new employee wants to be there. He also knows football. But as the late great Howard said "Monday Night Football is prime time entertainment, nothing more." Perhaps, with the games on ESPN, that notion is long gone. Merely, it is a sports network's coverage of games, meant for fans only. We do know that Jon knows how to speak in public, and he could give a goat shit about Brett Favre. Hey - this is a really good thing!

OK, point me to the stein. It's drinky time, and a nitwit is on television telling me about basketball. Make that two drinks.